*confusion*

Christmas christmas...new year new year...there's isnt any significance bout tis festives seasons...probably only that im havin a party in my office n im e lucky few to pick to deco my office christmas tree...haas..tt's sth special..cos it's a real christmas tree and 1st time deco-ing such a big tree..hee...other than tt, im simply lost...lost in my totx...

i dunno y im having tis feeling of lost...like nth planned for e special day...at first was super lookin fwd to all tis hols break...wrk half day on 23rd n 24th...25th - 27th long wkend...omg...tt's really a super long break for me yea....so many days of rest after tired of wrking and study...at first tot can get prog planned on such long break...den can enjoy before e yr end...haha...take a break but it seems so that im wrg...indeed im having break, but tt's nt e way i wanted it to turn out to b...i wanted sth really enjoying where i can reallly enjoy myself...but i dnt feel any enjoyable mood...at least nt nw...

nt to discourage those who planned outings with my share alrdy...but i totx meeting up is usual...is wad makes tis meeting up special in tis season...if nt, wouldnt it b jux a normal gathering?! but perhaps im really wrg..it's jux a wishful thinking on my part....still, i wan to appreciate those who takes e initiative to plan outing, with me in..hha...if nt, i'll really b super damned bored i guess....nw i can foresee i hav alot of available slots...24th, 25th, 26th...even if there is prog, but no confirmation means yet to consider confirmed...so gd for having hols break...probably for me jux to rot at hm when ppl r enjoying their season outside...omg...hard to imagine wad i'll feel on tt dae...aiya...dnt think so much..e more i think, e more sianx...

haha..y my words sounds like im promoting myself to ask ppl to go out tgt in tis festive season since im super free...no, i dnt wan to do tt n i dnt mean tt..im jux expressing my totx out...no other intention, pls dnt misinterpret...haix..maybe im jux feeling emo....i jux really wan to do sth tt i like to do in tis season...follow my heart to do things...but it dnt turn it e way i wanted to b...maybe tt's y im thinking like tt..

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it's tiring to kip guessing wat's a person is thinking bout...esp those u really care about...close frenx is one of it...sensing there is sth wrg but nv try to talk bout it...take it for example u used to get so close with ur true frenx...frenx tt u really care n share bout n ppl oso think tt u guys r really close...but suddenly, tis frenship make a drastic 180 deg turn to it feels like 2 strangers...wouldnt it hav caused sum thinkings in ur mind...definitely will i think, but nv will try to find e ans...sum ppl r funny, they dnt look for an ans cos they r afraid to face e ans...maybe...

i jux wan ppl ard me nt to get so tight up...u r tired of wearing a mask, im tired of guessing...y dnt frenx, true frenx, jux face each other without hiding any totx...tt's y true frenx r for mahx...so frenx, jux trust ur closest frenx...dnt leave an impression in ur heart tt there's no one to trust in tis world...tt's a pathetic totx i find it..cos e closest frenx will standby u no matter wat...so if u treat me as ur closest frenx...i wld wan to support u n standby u in everything u does...i can b a listener n i lov to b 1...ever since so long ago, few ppl let me b listener..always e one doing e speaking..haha...is tt gd?!roles exchange r better...relationship n communication can b improved mahx..

so let me get e taste of wat's closest frenx r for...dnt kip guessing tis n tt..end up will turn crazy i guess...crazy in ur own totx....hmm...i miss my closest frenx, i really does....

i nid encouragement badly....too emo over all these wild totx in tis cold weather...hw silly...but jux cant get it off my mind...i wan to b brave n speak up cos i wan to cherish wad i hav..im contented but yet perhaps u dunno sum times....i miss you!

Jiayous Sharon!!