HiYa...iM bAck..!!

omg..i guess my blog had long been forgotten cos too long nv update le bahx...even tagboard seems so dead..haha...ok la, let mi clear up those spider-webs..wanted a revamp, but too noob in tis IT stuff...haix..haha...hopefully i can realli pen out my totx...it's over-brimming...

as usual, too long nv write liaox, already forgotten wat happened over those days..maybe jux recall sum realli deep totx stuff...hmm...

Since 17th Aug, started wrking in the govt sector..nt bad i wld sae..as compare to my previous jobs, tis wld b e most challenging job...with e taxing n tiring factor loading on myself...it's e highest pay job held so far n considering e amt of wrkload piling up each day...really is hw much wrk = hw much being paid...considering fair...haix...but wat to do..tis is my choice..despite so, i dnt regret e switch..at least, life turns slightly better...n i really get chance to pick up alot of stuff tt i dnt used to noe bout..althou there r really alot of stuff i really dunno b4....im still learning the ropes frm my seniors cos there r simply too much things for each of us to cover...alot of aspects...nt to mention, colleagues' wrk...tis is really tiring..haha...1 thing i hate bout my wrk, tt's there no internet access...alot of stuff is so difficult without it...but tis is wrk...no choice..
well, nw is still e hard times i guessed cos still picking up n gt to handle e new studies subj at same time...used to e life of wrking n studying liao, but i really dnt like my life.... =(

colleagues is friendly n easy-going but maybe still cant mix really well...hah, im e youngest inside e whole section comprises of 80+ ppl...hhaa...sumtimes, i find no common topic cos i hav no knowledge about it....like shares, political, family...wah~really alot i dunno leh...haha...but at least still can get along lah...but still , i really missed e moments wrking in sph...those colleagues r really interesting n amicable...haa...

there r alot of frenx i wanted to cherish but there r other factors to overcome through the period...as time passed, frenxship can really turns 'plain s water'..as much as i wanted to meet up n chat happily like e past, but moments lost r really lost... sumtimes e feelings is jux no longer there to chat so much like b4...hmm....but true frenx r really exceptions...cos i can experience e atmosphere when true frenx get tgt...even though feelings r no longer as strong as b4, but thru e jokes, chat n activities, 1 can really feel hw it is nice to find back tis feelings...do i sounds confusing..?dunno hw to phrase, no mood to think so much...but jux trying to relate my totx...

1 thing tt makes me smile each time im thinking, tt's i've gotten my car license on 23sep09, 1st attempt..yea yea yea..i can save alot leh.... =D

there r alot of totx bothering me in my mind, my heart...with those totx i feel so lost, so lost till i dunno wat's my next step...i simply dunno wad to do...so frightened even that i wanted to use tears to wash away my fears..everything jux dnt wrks...those totx jux dnt get off my mind easily..everything still remains unchanged...life still goes on n on...sun, moon rise n set brightly... earth still turning...no matter wad, things jux dnt changed cos u r feeling low..

im only on my first sem in my studies....can sae completed 2 modules waiting for results...super scary...ya, i hav no confidence n i really feel super demoralising studying nw....not at all encouraging....i dunno wad happen but everyting jux dnt turn up wad i expected it to b....i tot i can face sch strongly with all frenx...but turn up im wrong...so wrong tt i dunno wad went wrong...is it my fault subconsciously...i really dunno....nw, im can really feel hw it is to study deg..it's really like wad outsiders always sae....ppl r only concerning bout themselves more than trying to make frenx...enjoying e whole process of studying...maybe dnt apply to all, but applying to wad im gg thru nw, i think it is....so i really feel so tough to hold on to my studies....i dunno where's my lifeboat or when i'll learn to swim...sumtimes i feel y nt jux let mi drown....much easier tis way....nt to sae, it's my 1st attempt....haix......

everything dnt goes rite tis yr....super emo....christmas cumin yet i dnt feel any joyous mood at all; at least nt nw im pretty sure....tell mi im wrong...tell mi there r still sumwhere out there where i can find warmth....i jux wan e slightest warmth tt i can get...is tt too much to ask for...??

人傻不是一种罪，傻人也不想太傻而碎

傻人是没有的选择的；
傻人只听过，傻人会有傻福